The Philistine Manifesto
I have been subjected to the biases and special pleadings of the artsy culture vultures long enough. They sneer at anything which isn't in their own mold (mould?) of avant-gardishness. They perpetuate stupid jokes by laughing at people who quite seriously say, "I may not know much about..______... but I know what I like."
|It is time for the
rest of us to revolt against this claptrap of
self-indulgent behaviour which passes itself off as
"the actualization of one's self potential,"
and which somehow has, unfortunately, [in Canuckland, at
least] bedeviled enough politicians that fully 65.7% of
our tax dollars go to supporting these alleged artistes
through direct grants and purchases of junk [Voice of
Fire - - need I say more?] that any sensible person would
pay someone else to haul off to the municipal landfill
site. It is time for a new organization to be formed to
aid this revolution. To that end, I hereby announce the
The Philistine Liberation Organization welcomes as new members those who support this cause. The basic tenets of the PLO are divided into two general categories: things we like and things we don't like. An overall score of 80% qualifies you for membership.
|The purpose of our organization, it must be made clear, is to promote tolerance and open-mindedness -- to lampoon arrogance and self-indulgent pomposity. We don't really care if you like Shostakovich, escargot, and Birkenstocks.
|We also don't really care if you like Neil Diamond, pizza, and Kodiak Grebs. We do, however, become disturbed if you try to tell us what we should like; and we have apoplexy if you try to get us to pay for what you think we should like.
Want to join the P.L.O.? ok, you're probably already a member then. Want to add to the tenets? Mail your suggestions to me, and I'll keep a list. My e-mail address is
Don't miss the reviews written by Ian Klymchuk.
And you will definitely want to look into attending our next annual conference!!
We hope you read this announcement in the spirit that one might read, say, the drive-in movie reviews of Joe Bob Briggs.
"You know what I'd like? a
little plastic container
from 5 & 1/2 year-old Joey Klymchuk --
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